Belly Chime

Recently, a friend told me about an amazing product and I simply had to share. The belly chime is a necklace worn by mothers who are expecting. The baby in utero is able to hear the sound of the chime each time the mother moves! So, if you don't have lots of time to talk, sing and read books to your baby in the womb, this may be a great product for you. Check it out at http://www.novanatural.com/baby-toddler/expecting/belly-chime

Social Relations in Childhood

I found a great article on social relations in childhood - enjoy! Click here to view link

There's Just Something Special About Grandparents...

Amazing

Alternatives to Punishment

Great article from kidstalknews.com!

Alternatives to Punishment

Six-year old Bobby walks into the kitchen from playing soccer. Bobby's dad, Tom, had asked Bobby to take off his muddy shoes before entering the house. Red Georgia mud dotted the new hallway and den carpet. When Tom sees the footprints, he is furious about the mess and that Bobby had disobeyed him. "Bobby," Tom says, his voice rising, " for disobeying me, you'll not be able to watch TV for a week. And John won't be able to come and spend the night on Friday." Bobby starts to cry and runs up the stairs yelling, "You're the meanest dad in the world. I hate you." Punishment for misbehavior can have the undesirable consequences of resentment and anger that can damage our parent/child relationship, perhaps forever. What alternatives to punishment do we have? In their book, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, Faber and Mazlish give seven alternatives to punishment in order to help children learn and exhibit appropriate behavior. 1. Point out a way to be helpful. Tom could have phrased his command differently. "Bobby, it would be helpful if you would take off your shoes on the porch and clean them outside." Or after the dastardly deed was done, "It would be helpful if you would sit down right now and take off those shoes. Then you can help me clean up the mud stains." 2. Express strong disappointment of the action without attacking the person's character. Tom could have said, "Bobby, I'm disappointed that the carpet is muddy from your soccer shoes. I asked you to take your shoes off before coming into the house." 3. State your expectations. "Bobby, I expect you to listen to me and do what I ask." 4. Show child how to make amends. "Bobby, after you take your shoes off, you'll need to help me clean the carpet. If the mud doesn't come out, I want you to go with me to rent a carpet cleaner." 5. Give a choice. "Bobby, if you want to continue playing soccer, you need to remember to take your shoes off before you come into the house. You need to pay attention when I tell you to do something. Forget to take off your shoes, then no soccer. You decide." 6. Take action. If Tom's given a choice, such as the choice given above, Tom will have to take action if Bobby forgets to take off his shoes again. 7. Allow the child to experience the consequences of his misbehavior. "Bobby, since I'll have to clean the carpet tomorrow, I won't be able to take you to the movies like we had planned." If our goal is to help our children learn appropriate behavior, punishment may not be an effective way for the child to see his mistake. When dealing with misbehavior, try using one of these seven alternatives to avoid anger, resentment and discouragement in your child and to help build a trusting loving parent/child relationship. It may take a lot of practice to catch our reactions, but I think you'll see it's worth it.

The Chemistry of Attachment (part 5)

(The full version of this wonderfully informative article by Linda F. Palmer can be found at: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support/articles/artchemistry.php)

The Chemistry of Attachment (part 5)

Norepinephrine & Learning

Breastfeeding also causes dopamine and its product, norepinephrine (adrenaline), to be produced, which help maintain some of the effects of the early bonding. They enhance energy and alertness along with some of the pleasure of attachment. Norepinephrine helps organize the infant's stress control system, as well as other important hormonal controls in accordance with the nature of the early rearing experiences. It promotes learning about the environment-especially learning by memorization that is carried out by oxytocin, opioids, and other chemical influences.

Pheromones & Basic Instincts

How does the man's body know to initiate hormonal changes when he is living with a pregnant female? How can an infant accurately interpret mother's "odors" that adults often can barely detect? The answer is pheromones. Among other things, pheromones are steroid hormones that are made in our skin. Our bodies are instinctually programmed to react accordingly when we detect these pheromones around us.

Newborns are much more sensitive to pheromones than adults. Unable to respond to verbal or many other cues, they apparently depend on this primitive sense that controls much of the behavior of lower animals. Most likely the initial imprinting of baby to odors and pheromones is not just a matter of preferring the parents' odors, but is a way nature controls brain organization and hormonal releases to best adapt baby to its environment. Baby's earliest, most primitive experiences are then linked to higher abilities such as facial and emotional recognition. Through these, baby most likely learns how to perceive the level of stress in the caretakers around her, such as when mother is experiencing fear or joy. Part of an infant's distress over separation may be caused by the lost parental cues about the safety of her environment. Of course the other basic sensation an infant responds to well is touch, and coincidentally, body odors and pheromones can only be sensed when people are physically very near each other.

What the World Needs Now . . .

Infants universally cry when laid down alone. If we allow ourselves to listen, our neurons and hormones encourage us in the proper response. Babies are designed to be frequently fed in a fashion that requires skin-to-skin contact, holding, and available facial cues. Beneficial, permanent brain changes result in both parent and infant from just such actions. Contented maternal behaviors grow when cues are followed. The enhancement of fatherhood is strongly provided for as well. A father's participation encourages his further involvement and creates accord between father and mother. Frequent proximity and touch between baby and parents can create powerful family bonding-with many long-term benefits.

Sadly, over the last century parents have been encouraged by industry-educated "experts" to ignore their every instinct to respond to baby's powerful parenting lessons. Psychologists, neurologists, and biochemists have now confirmed what many of us have instinctually suspected: that many of the rewards of parenthood have been missed along the way, and that generations of children may have missed out on important lifelong advantages.

Dr. Linda Palmer retired from her chiropractic practice when the health challenges of her son and the parenting style objections from those around her led her to extensive research efforts, culminating in her writing of a healthy parenting book, Baby Matters: What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Caring for Your Baby.

The Chemistry of Attachment (part 4)

(The full version of this wonderfully informative article by Linda F. Palmer can be found at: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support/articles/artchemistry.php)

The Chemistry of Attachment (part 4)

Opioids & Rewards

Opioids (pleasure hormones) are natural morphine-like chemicals created in our bodies. They reduce pain awareness and create feelings of elation. Social contacts, particularly touch-especially between parent and child- induce opioid release, creating good feelings that will enhance bonding. Odor, taste, activity, and even place preferences can develop as the result of opioid release during pleasant contacts, and eventually the sight of a loved one's face stimulates surges. Opioid released in a child's brain as a conditioned response to a parent's warm hugs and kisses can be effective for helping reduce the pain from a tumble or a disappointment.

Parents "learn" to enjoy beneficial activities such as breastfeeding and holding, and infants "learn" to enjoy contact such as being held, carried, and rocked, all as a response to opioid release. Babies need milk, and opioids are nature's reward to them for obtaining it, especially during the initial attempts. The first few episodes of sucking organize nerve pathways in the newborn's brain, conditioning her to continue this activity. This is the reason that breastfed babies sometimes have trouble if they are given bottles in the newborn nursery-early exposure to bottles creates a confusing association of pleasure with both bottle nipples and the mother's breast. In fact, any incidental sensations experienced during rocking, touching, and eating that aren't noxious can become part of a child's attachment and will provide comfort. It could be the warmth of mother's body, father's furry chest, grandma's gentle lullaby, a blanket, or the wood-slatted side of a crib.

Prolonged elevation of prolactin in the attached parent stimulates the opioid system, heightening the rewards for intimate, loving family relationships, possibly above all else. Just as with codeine and morphine, tolerance to natural opioids can occur, which will reduce the reward level for various activities over time. But this is not a problem for attached infants and parents, because higher levels of oxytocin, especially when created through frequent or prolonged body contact, actually inhibit opioid tolerance ⁷, protecting the rewards for maintaining close family relationships. On the other hand, consuming artificial opioid drugs replaces the brain's need for maintaining family contacts.

Once a strong opioid bonding has occurred, separation can become emotionally upsetting, and in the infant possibly even physically uncomfortable when opioid levels decrease in the brain, much like the withdrawal symptoms from cocaine or heroin. When opioid levels become low, one might feel like going home to hold the baby or like crying for a parent's warm embrace, depending on your point of view. Sometimes alternate behaviors are helpful. For instance, thumb-sucking can provide some relief from partial or total withdrawal from a human or rubber nipple and can even provide opioid-produced reminiscences for a time.